Texas Sheet Cake: lovely chocolate treat in 1 hour flat. Honest.

Two years ago I posted this recipe on FB.  Since then it has appeared on family birthday tables at least a dozen times, and soon I'll be making it for an 18-year-old I know.  It's as easy, fast, and yummy now as it was then.  You can literally bang this out in an hour start to finish.  Consider making one for Valentine's Day - they will taste the love.

fastest, easiest, yummiest chocolate cake ever: Texas Sheet Cake

I stumbled across a truly wonderful recipe and wanted to share it with you special people. OK, here's the scene: it's your turn to bring the cake for a party. You have to leave in an hour. You want something yummy and chocolaty, with a minimum of bowls to wash.

You may look at the recipe below and think (as I did), "This looks weird; not enough cocoa. It won't work." Give it a try anyway sometime, gobble it greedily as we did, and then pass it on to YOUR favorite bakers.

* * * * *
Texas Sheet Cake (chocolate-buttermilk sheet cake)
slightly adapted from the Better Homes & Gardens 2003 Cookbook

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2 cups flour
2 cups sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup (2 sticks) butter
1/3 cup cocoa powder - it doesn't look like enough, but it is.
1 cup water
2 eggs
1/2 cup buttermilk or sour milk (1/2 c. milk + 1-1/2 tsp. lemon juice or vinegar, left to stand for 5 min.)
1-1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 recipe Quick Chocolate Frosting (below)

1. Grease a 13x9x2 baking pan & set aside. In a large bowl, stir together flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt; set aside. (Using a 15x10x1 jelly roll pan is fine too; more like brownies).

2. In a medium saucepan combine butter, cocoa powder, and water. Bring mixture just to boiling, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Add cocoa mixture to flour mixture and beat with an electric mixture on medium to high speed until thoroughly combined. Add eggs, buttermilk, and vanilla. Beat for 1 minute (batter will be quite thin). Pour batter into the prepared pan.

3. Bake 35 min (or only 25 min for the 15x10x1 pan) until a toothpick comes out clean.

4. Pour warm frosting (below) over the warm cake - no need to wait or poke holes in the cake - and spread evenly. Leave cake to cool in the pan on a wire rack; cool thoroughly.

Quick Chocolate Frosting

As soon as the cake comes out, make the frosting: In a medium saucepan combine 1/4 cup butter, 3 Tbsp. cocoa powder, and 3 Tbsp. buttermilk or sour milk. Bring to boiling; remove from heat. Add 2-1/4 cups powdered sugar and 1/2 tsp. vanilla. Beat with a spoon or spatula until smooth. If desired, stir in 3/4 cup coarsely chopped pecans.  We always skip the nuts and it tastes just as good.

cook this: pineapple tofu fried rice.

stolen pic, but you get the idea.

Only the rice/water ratio must be obeyed; everything else is negotiable.  You don't have to be vegan to eat it, it either; omnivores at our house enjoy it as well.

Vegan Pineapple Tofu Fried Rice
8 servings or so

2 cups rice
4 cups water
1 pkg. firm or extra-firm tofu, cubed in 1/4" dice
Olive oil
1-2 large onions, chopped.  Can't have too many onions.
1-2 carrots, peeled and finely chopped
1 bell pepper (any color), seeded and chopped
Garlic - 3 minced cloves or I just use a big spoon of the stuff in the jar
1 can pineapple in juice (NOT syrup), tidbits or chunks, drained but reserve the juice please.
Soy sauce
Handful frozen peas
Sesame oil if you have it - gives a nice flavor at the end

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

• Bake tofu cubes on an oiled cookie sheet while you're making the rice and take out when the rice is done.  Set aside. (Baking dries and browns the tofu.)
• Bring rice and water to a boil; simmer, covered, for 20 min. and turn off heat.  Set aside.
• Stir-fry onions and carrots in 1-2 T. oil on med-high heat for 6-8 minutes.  Keep them moving occasionally so they don't burn.  You can add a bit of water once they brown to take advantage of the caramelization happening on the bottom of the pan.
• Add chopped pepper and garlic and stir-fry 2-3 minutes.
• Add drained pineapple and stir-fry 3-4 minutes more, until the pineapple starts to caramelize.
• Chop in the cooked rice.  Add the reserved pineapple juice plus 1/4 cup soy sauce.  Stir well to incorporate the liquid, add baked tofu cubes and frozen peas on top, then reduce to low and simmer, covered, 5-7 minutes, stirring once or twice.
• (Optional) Add 1-2 tsp. sesame oil on top, remove from heat, then mix gently and serve.  Pass soy sauce at table.

Summer at Aldi: 99-cent raspberries and Nutella under 2 bucks!

$1.99...

$4.49 @ Walgreens...$7.58 @ Amazon...

The latest Aldi goodness...Maybe you wouldn't want to eat Nutella and fresh raspberries together, but you can get them both this week at Aldi for hardly any money.  Their version of Nutella is indistinguishable from the brand name in every way but price, being oh, about, four times cheaper compared to Amazon...

The second find this week was big, beautiful jewel-like raspberries, with nary a moldy one in the bunch, for 99 measly cents a carton.  At this price, one can afford to dump a whole carton or two into the blender with some ripe bananas, a bit of OJ and ice, for a fruitylicious shake.

It's immensely satisfying to fork over one-fourth or one-third of what other people pay for these yummy finds.  And of course it justifies your buying that many times as much!  Mmm, raspberries.....

Aldi, part 3: The ugly (or, Why'd you mess with the fake Cheerios?!)

In milk, bad fake Cheerios grow to the size of donuts.  Grrr!

Heading my list of Top 10 reasons why ALDI rocks is that their fake Cheerios ("Crispy Oats") are practically free at $1.59/box.  I walk in there every few weeks and shlep home a case of 12 boxes at a go.  [We eat a LOT of fake Cheerios.]  And they appear to be made by General Mills, as I can discern no difference in quality from real Cheerios.  So who wouldn't want to save, like, three bucks a box?

...until two days ago, when I purchased a case, only to discover the old-style subpar fake Cheerios, the very porous ones (right) with visible holes that look obviously punched out of a big sheet of Cheerio dough.  These would, I knew, swell up unacceptably as they sogged and softened in the milk.  I wanted to pull a full-bore Howard Beale moment, but had no one for an audience but the kids, who were already a bit annoyed at having to continue eating not just fake Cheerios from now on, but crappy fake Cheerios at that.

Not really this angry, at least not now.

Aldi, I thought we had an understanding.  Can't we just go back to the way things were?

Seriously, though, I understand and respect that the reason for Aldi's success is that they keep costs low and quality reasonably high.  But somebody made a bad quality decision here by changing their private-label manufacturer.  I'd rather pay a bit more for fake Cheerios than the same low price for crappy ones.

hunger makes crappy food yummy.

Why does strong hunger bring everything, even (or perhaps especially) crappy food, up to Yummytown?

Can't believe how good this $5 Hot 'N' Ready cheese pizza from Little Caesars is.  Wolfed down two pieces in three minutes and currently contemplating a third.

Probably helps that it's piping hot and I had no breakfast or lunch.

Still...better hurry or it'll get cold and then we're back in Crappytown.

Aldi, part 2 of 3: the bad...

Happy Friday!  Today's post follows my recent chronicling of the good to be found at Aldi, with a mercifully much shorter sampling of the bad below.

In fairness, a huge swath of fair-to-middling foods are omitted because they are perfectly fine, but not worth special mention.  All the dry cereals, for example, or the 100% whole wheat "L'oven Fresh" bread (which gets extra points because it sounds like McLovin from Superbad.) [caution, funny-but-sweary link]

Anyhow, here are some of the more dubious-looking items unearthed on a recent trip.

Previous ALDI goodness/badness/ugliness found here.

When Aldi's food stylists can render the Macaroni & Beef no more appetizing than this, just remain calm and look across the aisle at the nice cheerful pineapple chunks.

The hummus makes both the good and bad lists, because although it's cheap, it's basically mashed chickpeas.  Unobjectionable on its own, but come on!  Tahini, please?

"A pork and soy protein product."  Check out the exploding Oink-ometer!  Mainly it provides an excuse to say this.* 

I bear canned potatoes no ill will, but I fail to grasp their point.  Looking at them makes me feel desperately sad and poor.  I mean, a potato costs about a nickel.   Heaven help you if you can't afford a damn potato.

* 1) Years ago, Sean and I lived below the two nice young Jewish heirs to the great Moo & Oink fortune.  We gave them a bunch of our furniture when we moved out, and they gave us a Moo & Oink clock.  Fair exchange, I think.
2) Sean was featured on the back page of the Chicago Tribune wearing a Moo & Oink T-shirt, for a story on the birth of our oldest son, which I should tell sometime.
3) Moo & Oink's classic commercials during Soul Train vie for first place with the equally jaw-dropping Scottie Pippen Mr. Submarine ad (yes, he really does dunk a sub) as a high/low point of Chicago commercial history.

20120302: top 11 randomly awesome things this week.

How can my cup runneth over with so much random awesomeness?  Way too much time on my hands.
But seriously, you are probably surrounded by awesomeness all the time also.  You just don't have the time to notice it, geek out, take a picture, and write it down.  You should do that sometime.  Meanwhile, there's more than enough random awesomeness to go around:

11. Sammy the three-legged rescue cat at Forest Glen Animal Hospital.  Coy fellow, you can't see his beautiful face.

10. The pointless-but-fun rainbow foam jets they squirt on you (on your car, I mean) at the car wash out by my mom's house.  It doesn't need to be rainbow - just allows them to charge you nine bux for the deluxe.



9. My very first no-chip manicure.  I'm about as likely to pamper myself or my nails as I am to get up one morning and take up jogging.  Nevertheless, there you are.  To me, they look both pretty and slightly plastic/strange, which I enjoy.

8. One more reason to hate Jewel a little less:  the dollar wall!  Right by the girls-on-cars magazines.

7. These pencils look better than they sharpen, but you have to appreciate the marketing goofiness of mangling the beloved Ticonderoga brand into "Tri-Conderoga" to emphasize the triangular cross-section.  Somebody talked somebody else into something, I think.

6. This sweet pair of slippers, which I made out of an accidentally densed Gap lambswool scarf found at the Village Discount Outlet.  I densed it again and voila: cold feet problem solved.


5. Being named Crafter of the Week at the Economy Shop.  I've been avoiding blogging about it because I'm greedy, but the Economy Shop is a legendary century-old thrift store,  open just a couple days a month.  Three full floors of a huge old house are filled with well-organized rooms, great merchandise at reasonable prices, and friendly volunteers.  The craft room is to die for:  as my friend Jim puts it, "a Brigadoon of crafts."  Yarn, fabric, notions you've never even heard of.

4. The drama of lunchmaking.

3. Butter Boy.  He butters corn!  Fast!  You could go to some pretty awkward places here, but I'm just going to put him down and walk away.

2. New profile pic.  Trying to look all professional and shit.  The wooden bathroom door really classes it up.

1. OK, drum roll...here it is...can you stand it?  A unicorn candle, that set me back $1 at the Irish American Heritage Center's first annual rummage sale last week.  The kids made me swear never to burn it, so it stands sentry on our kitchen windowsill as I write these lines, radiating its legendary powers over us as we eat dinner.

But wait, there's more awesomeness that didn't even make the list.  How about these Paleolithic NOMA Christmas lights with mismatched bulbs that look like they'll burn the entire building down if you breathe on them funny?

or just this really cool key?  Why don't companies just design all keys to look cool?  Doesn't cost any more.

**PS:  Listen, you may or may not know, but I started this blog partly to kick a Facebook addiction.  Blogs are fun, and they're even more fun if a bunch of people read them.  And even though I'm a junkie, I'm not averse at all to publicizing the blog on FB.  So, if you like something you read here sometime, it'd be great if you want to post a link to it on FB.  Just saying.  Thank you so much.  Hope you have a lovely weekend - during which you take a moment to notice something randomly awesome! (post it here as a comment for extra credit :)

awesome goth vitamins: vegan teen gummies!

The search for a gelatin-free chewable multivitamin for the kids is over:  Teen Gummies Multi from Puritan's Pride fires on all cylinders:  Gothic font, orange & black label, wings, flamelike curlicues.  And they're so tasty I can already tell I'm going to have to hide them.  Plus an amazing deal.  mmm, vitamins...

are you sitting down? foil rabbit with a handknit sweater.

The annual cub scout blue & gold dinner is enjoyable in the same absurdist manner as, say, a Pinter play.  If you roll with it in the right spirit, the skits are quite entertaining. 

In slow spots, you can entertain yourself, as I am wont to do with literally any materials at hand.  After taking the foil off our deviled eggs, restlessness compels me to crumple it into a rabbit, presenting it to our young Webelo, J.  Then I knit a sweater for him (the rabbit, I mean; pretty sure this is going to be a him, since the rabbit is for a boy).

J takes one look at the little turtlenecked rabbit he holds in his hand and says fondly, "I'm going to name him Douglas."

Later, J shoots a brief stop-motion animation of Douglas frantically circling the toilet lid called - wait for it - Douglas the Foil Rabbit in Trapped on the Toilet.

Of such golden (foil) things are my days made.  Yes, I know how lucky I am.  I'm writing it down so I won't forget.

Aldi, part 1 of 3: the good

My connections with some of the stores I physically frequent - Aldi, Jewel, Walgreens - feel in some ways like real live relationships.  Take Aldi, for example.  I love Aldi in so many ways, and yet Aldi will do something now and then that I simply don't understand or that actually turns me off.

Today's post celebrates the sunny side of Aldi:  a sampling of the great stuff available there on a recent trip.  look for Aldi parts 2 and 3 in upcoming posts.  For more Aldi fun, see my tagcloud at right.

Aldi, part 1 of 3:  the good

grandessa hummus, in red pepper and other flavors, $1.69.  beats paying $4.99 at jewel.

you read that right - $1.49 for a 3 lb. bag of cuties.  can't beat that with a large, highly polished stick.

steamable broccoli bags, $1.09.

reggio's (brand name) dinner size pizza, $3.99.  we usually go for the cheese.  these are usually about 7 bucks at jewel.

red pepper and butternut squash soups, $1.99/qt.  i like to punch them up with sherry and a little butter or smart balance.

aldi is beanland.  all your beany needs are met here for next to nothing.

refried beans - authentic and fat-free varieties, 79 cents - part of aldi's full line of latino foods.

the eastern shore of beanland, priced from 49 to 79 cents.

priano organic imported italian bronze-cut pasta, $1.49/lb.

pineapple chunks in 100% juice, 89 cents.  useful when we've run out of fresh fruit.

did you know illinois grows nearly all this country's pumpkins? and most of them go into cans like this.

no matter how many you have, you know you need five more pairs of scissors for $3.99.

it's totally evil fake sugar and color, and at 16 cents a drink packet, i'll take it.

godiva it ain't, but it's brown and sugary and $1.19 per box of 10 packets.  this is purchased in mass quantities to use as ~ Valuable Bingo Prizes ~ on Girl Scout camping trips.

grandessa sea salt caramels, $2.99.  sweet.

20120203: random goodness

...friday is as good an excuse as any for sharing a few bits of compulsively gathered dross.
i can't help it:  i have to amuse myself or life's not worth living.
a happy friday to you! 

random goodness

christmas slippers with actual 3-dimensional teeny mittens attached.  oh, how I love these guys.

the lit'l shakee will shake the bejesus out of your tree.  its shaking mechanism's planetary gear mesmerizes utterly, taunting you to put your foot or other body part in there, but please don't.

trippy christmas tree, thanks to my crappy new phone camera.

Christmas cookies - so fun to make...

...especially when they look a little unhinged, accidentally on purpose.

candles? soap? candy?  lumps of edible something-or-other in the candy section at Mayfair Market (Pulaski S of Lawrence).  looks like you're supposed to slice or gnaw a bit off the flavor you want.  ?

finds from mayfair market:  sweet lime; cilantro cubes; tiky guatemalan pineapple soda; peach yogurt aloe vera smoothie that was actually quite tasty.

from the good old village discount on elston:  munsingwear 100% ringspun cotton french blue shirt with, um, a Barilla logo.  it was free so it followed me home.  no idea what will become of it.

lightweight pullover sweater featuring a delicately printed scene from...c.s. lewis's voyage of the dawn treader? some intrepid hipster is probably sporting this about town as we speak.

shells, wire, pompoms and a clown head, and you have something that's way more than $2.90 worth of scary.

black subaru.  loves Snape.  pretty much says it all.

real men don't need footwear to get the morning paper.