Fake Music Names: Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, "Wait for the Treat," from the album Delayed Gratification.

For years, some of the people in our house have found it amusing to listen for random phrases that would make good names for fictitious songs, bands, and/or albums.

Starter cultures are everywhere, for example, this fairly useful article on how to cultivate discipline (and get smarter) by staring at marshmallows.  http://www.dailygood.org/view.php?qid=4668

Admittedly, the Hardy Family did not invent this practice.  I first appreciated the fun of it while reading the late, great Spy magazine, who took what would now be called memes, I suppose, from It's a Wonderful Life and parsed them into some hilarious bands and songs,
including:

Sentimental Hogwash, "Don't Hurt My Sore Ear Again," by Sentimental Hogwash
Flaming Rum Punch, "I Feel Like A Bootlegger's Wife,"
and so on.

You've Been Gobbled: 30 things I'm thankful for.

1.  The Girl Scouts, some of whom were sporting enough to go along with my idea of making "You've Been Gobbled" posters at last night's meeting.  You're the best, people.

 2.  Peace signs on the sidewalk.

 3.  This sweet, sweet Karmann Ghia in Pilsen.  Apparently the owner's a jerk, but the car is divine.

 4.  Bun Length Wieners.  It's wrong on many levels, AND missing a hyphen, but also great.  Thanks again, Aldi.

5. The LepreCan porta-potty facility under the viaduct near our house.  We call that whole area the Poop Factory for no good reason.

 6.  Sexy Irish weather ladies broadcasting the weather in Irish.  Somehow made both weather and Gaelic seem sexy at once, quite a feat.

7.  Hardy Boys lunchbox.  I didn't even know they were Frank and Joe Hardy until our Joe came along.

 8.  People with the cleverness and manual dexterity to paint British flags on their toenails - and the cheek to do it a few days before we leave for Ireland.

 9.  Hammer toe diagrams at the podiatrist's office. 

 10.  This grandpa (big Devo fan) and his 8-year-old granddaughter, who he brought to the Devo/Blondie concert because her dad was sick.  I had bought five Devo buttons and offered them each one.  Grandpa was pleased.

 11.  My Irish condiment collection, featuring several varieties of brown sauce - and Marmite.

 12.  This gang of four.  And their Dad.

 13.  Coco, who was riding up Michigan Avenue with her owner loving the smells.

 14.  Disco ball at the Village Discount Outlet.  Too bad some of the disco fell off.

 15.  Fall color.

 16.  People having birthdays.

 17.  Another fantastic car I followed along Chicago Avenue on a Sunday morning.

 

 18.  America:  where kids can get handcuffs, army guys, marbles, ping pong balls, AND Play-Doh at the Jewel.

 19.  The giant rocking chair at Jonamac Orchard in Malta, IL, plus the amazing apple cider, pie, donuts, etc.  Oh, and the pumpkin cannon.  And the hay bale maze.  and the donkey, etc.....

 20.  The Girl Scout sleepover @ St. Ed's.

 21.  Breakfast where I work:  I usually take two hard-boiled eggs and either bacon or turkey sausage.  But there was one tiny pancake which I had to have as well.

 22.  The Patio Theater on Irving Park near Austin.  A genuine old-school movie palace.

 23.  Boy Scout Pasta Dinner with friends and family.

 24.  This Astronaut Santa from the Village Discount Outlet again.  I was too scared to buy him but he is recorded here for posterity.

 25.  Medieval Times.  Words fail me but I shall return.

 26.  Willis the Shark.  Yes, he is wearing a tux.  Courtesy of Madison.

27.  Margie, Jessica - nicely done. 

 28.  Psychedelic hands.

29.  YOU.
30.  The Universe.

pictures from Ireland 2012 - now with links.

Sorry about that. Tried to get fancy with the slideshows and it blew up. Here we go.

ins and outs
amusing signs and imagery
anarchy anyone?
dublin, parts 1 and 2
belfast
giant's causeway / dunluce castle
carrickfergus castle / mellifont abbey / monasterboice / carrick-a-rede rope bridge
derry/londonderry (site of bloody sunday)
grianan of aileach (medieval ring fort) / slieve league (1,291-ft sea cliffs, europe's highest) / caldragh graveyard (pre-christian pagan tombstones!)
ballyconnell / kinawley / county fermanagh
galway
killarney / kilkenny
clonmacnoise (largest medieval monastery in ireland)
glendalough monastery, county wicklow

Back from Ireland: Tip o' the neill to ya!

It's midnight Dublin time but we're back enjoying the cicadas of Chicago at 6pm.  Too many photos to show yet but a few impressions from the trip:

1.  Tons of tourists, largely French, German, and Italian.  Irish super-friendly.
2.  Hardly any Americans in Northern Ireland.
3.  Derry/Londonderry is an important place for anyone to visit who wants to understand Irish politics.
4.  The roads are as tiny as they say, but at least they are paved.  Sean did a heroic job driving.
5.  Best dairy products in the universe - butter, milk, yogurt, cheese, ice cream.
6.  Sausages available as part of every full Irish breakfast, but where are the pigs?  We saw at least 50,000 sheep, about a dozen donkeys, but literally only two pigs.
7.  "Champ" = mashed potatoes, butter, salt, pepper, chives or green onions.  Too good for words.
8.  Slieve League: highest sea cliffs in Europe (1,291 feet).  Photos when I can dig them out.  Unbelievable.
9.  Also tons of medieval and megalithic sites.
10.  Much amusing signage and graffiti.  Again, hope to find all the photos we took of it.
11.  Surprising geographic diversity for such a small country.  Also an astonishing amount of water.  Also astonishing beauty around nearly every bend.
12.  Wheaten bread (extra-coarse whole-wheat/oat Irish soda bread) and Club Lemon became our car sustenance as we usually skipped lunch.  Wheaten bread produces a very specific and evil type of fart which cannot be replicated with any other food, sort of  like the smell of gym shoes gone wrong.  Very bad indeed.  But the bread is so tasty you just get up the next day and eat it again at breakfast.  The crazy thing is you can get this amazing rustic bread anywhere, even at their crappy little convenience stores.
13.  Tea.  Tea with milk and sugar, and wheaten bread with divine Irish butter.  The things they do well, the Irish do really, really well.  The Irish seem to like their tea incredibly strong, almost as dark as coffee, so 1-2 cups in the morning is plenty.

That's all for now....just to stay up a few more hours till bedtime (yawn).....

Ireland: a place for Hardy folk?

That question will be tested soon as the six of us plus Sean's mom get off the North American continent later today, for the first time as a family.

The plan is simplicity itself:
1.  Fly to Dublin;
2.  Rent minivan;
3.  Drive counterclockwise around entire country on wrong side of road (Sean will drive; I will probably knit.)

Sean has been planning the itinerary for months and has tons of great stops lined up.  Kid3 has commandeered the Nikon; I am intrigued to see the photos that come back.

While we're away, could somebody please run out and do school supply shopping for 4 kids?  All the college rule looseleaf will be gone by then, and no one beyond fifth grade wants the Cone of Shame known as wide rule paper.


Wish us luck (not the luck of the Irish, please) and we'll be back in action in a couple of weeks.

This week's nugget ratio: 71% favorable, 29% unfavorable.

1.  The annual Blueberry Run with friend Ann to Stateline Blueberries in Michigan City, IN (5 stars on Yelp).  Closer than Michigan, and better.  We each picked 5 pounds in 45 minutes flat.  They even have bathrooms and soap-on-a-rope to wash your purple hands. 

Molto reubene.

U-Pick, U-Eat.

2.  Our pickfest was followed by a delectable banh mi-style sandwich and an equally nice reuben at her cousin Joe’s deli, David’s Delicatessen, in neighboring New Buffalo, Michigan (4.5 Yelp stars).

3.  Miniature golfing at Novelty Golf & Games in Lincolnwood this past Tuesday.  In operation for over 60 years.   You know, that place you always whiz by on the way home from the equally legendary Dairy Star (4 stars), with huge pine trees and a big Frankenstein head, and you think, “yeah, someday I need to go there?”  Well, you do need to go - in fact, Groupon ran a 2-for-1 deal just today for the place.  Authentically old school, with not one but two fiberglass chickens and hand-painted signs featuring the Fonz, reminding you to dress properly. The glow of the yellow bug lights against the evening sky still thrills me as it did when I was a teen mini-golfing at the place next to Kiddieland on North Avenue.  Even our 21^st-century crew enjoyed it.

Del Stater's Rabbit Hut it ain't.

4.  Putt-putt golf in Lincolnwood must, of course, give way to subpar soft-serve swirl cones at the Bunny Hutch immediately to the north.  Who cares if Oberweis is packing them in across the street?  It’s critical to go to these old places because…. 

Off-the-hook waffle from Pat's Place.

5.  …well, because they might go away.  I was chopfallen to discover that Pat Bellos of the incredible Pat’s Place in Skokie lost a fight with her landlord and had to close her restaurant recently after many decades of service.  She says she’ll reopen but she doesn’t know where.  I have often envisioned growing old and taking all my meals there (breakfast and lunch) – read my rapturous Yelp reviews of the place here.

6.  Coming in from a lie-down on our new patio sofa just now to discover that I do, in fact, have ants in my pants.  

7.  If you squint right, my Blogger graph looks just the tiniest bit like the top of Batman's head.

this week's good/bad thing ratio: 13:6.

13 good things:

1.      Upgrading from contract status to a legit, full-time gig as a program consultant for Kellogg Executive Education.  The get-a-job dance appears to have worked again, thank goodness.

2.       Discovering the wondrous Bookman’s Alley bookstore in Evanston.

3.       The 1844 Bureau of Indian Affairs “ American Red Man” book on sale therein.

4.       Taking a paid lunch for the first time in years.

5.       An abbondanza of good lunch places in Evanston, including Pret and the over-the-top Edzo's Burger Shop (27/30 Zagat rating).  Parenthetically, next time you're tempted to say plethora, stop and say abbondanza instead.  It's saucy.

6.       Homemade strawberry shortcake for dinner.  I do it once a summer,  and today was the day.  Yum.

7.      Discovering the NeilMed Nasal Rinse (cousin of the neti pot) is indispensable for flushing Sour Cream 'n' Onion Pringles out of one's nose.

8.      Watching Cabaret, loaned to me by my friend Tigh, Mr. “Video Junction.”  He is my TV dealer, responsible for my Mad Men addiction.

9.   Attending a raucously fun block party of some friends of ours and surprising myself by downing an entire bottle of prosecco.

10.   Pulitzer Prize-winning Tribune columnist Mary Schmich wrote me back today.  I think she might be my new girlfriend.

11.   Lounging on our new patio furniture on our new patio.  I napped so long a bird almost pooped on my cheek.

12. The weather turning human again!

13. A chocolate soda.  And then another one a few days later.

Funny how many of the good things have to do with food and drink...

6 bad things:

1.       Laughing with a mouth full of Sour Cream ‘n’ Onion Pringles and inhaling them into my sinuses.  That seasoning stings something awful.

2.       Learning that Bookman’s Alley will close sometime in August.  Wah!

3.       Andy Griffith died.

4.       Ernest Borgnine died.

5.      The inescapability of Joel Grey's creepy Cabaret face.  He haunts me night and day.

6.       Daring to drink my out-of-date skim milk at work.  There will come a day of reckoning, and soon.

3 fun things: texting it old school, impersonating the Town Blob, and talking like James Mason…but not simultaneously.

Thing 1:  I have a habit of writing things I must remember on the back of my left hand.  If I write them on a Post-it, I'll lose the note.  Today I got caught looking down at a green light by an angry driver behind me.  It was funny/embarrassing to imagine what I would have said to a police officer for "texting" in this way.

Thing 2:  Kid1 was in rare form yesterday, impersonating her maternal unit in a screechy rendition of the Town Blob's voice from the old BJ & Dirty Dragon show.  (Bill Jackson, the show's creator, was the subject of my first-ever blog post and I am pleased and proud to call him a correspondent).  So Kid1 is killing them in the aisles with her impersonation of me in this voice, talking on my phone to Kid2, croaking loudly, "What do you mean, who is this?  This is your MOTHER!"  

Thing 3:  The hilarity continued as Kid1 launched into a James Mason impression, and announced after a few minutes of really quality stuff that James Mason must have been physically incapable of pronouncing the word "mushroom."  She's right:  try it and see.  At least one other blogger besides our entire family finds James Mason's accent amusing.

20120315: this week in random awesomeness

Every week yields its catch of random awesomeness (or awesome randomness), for which I continue to be thankful to the universe.  I humbly offer you the catch of the week, and bid you the awesomest of weekends...

are you sitting down? foil rabbit with a handknit sweater.

The annual cub scout blue & gold dinner is enjoyable in the same absurdist manner as, say, a Pinter play.  If you roll with it in the right spirit, the skits are quite entertaining. 

In slow spots, you can entertain yourself, as I am wont to do with literally any materials at hand.  After taking the foil off our deviled eggs, restlessness compels me to crumple it into a rabbit, presenting it to our young Webelo, J.  Then I knit a sweater for him (the rabbit, I mean; pretty sure this is going to be a him, since the rabbit is for a boy).

J takes one look at the little turtlenecked rabbit he holds in his hand and says fondly, "I'm going to name him Douglas."

Later, J shoots a brief stop-motion animation of Douglas frantically circling the toilet lid called - wait for it - Douglas the Foil Rabbit in Trapped on the Toilet.

Of such golden (foil) things are my days made.  Yes, I know how lucky I am.  I'm writing it down so I won't forget.

20120203: random goodness

...friday is as good an excuse as any for sharing a few bits of compulsively gathered dross.
i can't help it:  i have to amuse myself or life's not worth living.
a happy friday to you! 

random goodness

christmas slippers with actual 3-dimensional teeny mittens attached.  oh, how I love these guys.

the lit'l shakee will shake the bejesus out of your tree.  its shaking mechanism's planetary gear mesmerizes utterly, taunting you to put your foot or other body part in there, but please don't.

trippy christmas tree, thanks to my crappy new phone camera.

Christmas cookies - so fun to make...

...especially when they look a little unhinged, accidentally on purpose.

candles? soap? candy?  lumps of edible something-or-other in the candy section at Mayfair Market (Pulaski S of Lawrence).  looks like you're supposed to slice or gnaw a bit off the flavor you want.  ?

finds from mayfair market:  sweet lime; cilantro cubes; tiky guatemalan pineapple soda; peach yogurt aloe vera smoothie that was actually quite tasty.

from the good old village discount on elston:  munsingwear 100% ringspun cotton french blue shirt with, um, a Barilla logo.  it was free so it followed me home.  no idea what will become of it.

lightweight pullover sweater featuring a delicately printed scene from...c.s. lewis's voyage of the dawn treader? some intrepid hipster is probably sporting this about town as we speak.

shells, wire, pompoms and a clown head, and you have something that's way more than $2.90 worth of scary.

black subaru.  loves Snape.  pretty much says it all.

real men don't need footwear to get the morning paper.