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| $.80/bar, or $0.01/fart. |
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| $.40/bar, or $0.005/fart. Score! |
Spoiler Alert: This post is about farts, which is completely juvenile and inappropriate. You stand warned. It comes from a place of love, because, as much as I love ALDI, I feel it necessary to bring this issue into the open so that others can avoid the same misadventure.
Yet another clue that General Mills also makes all the ALDI Millville cereals: ALDI's identical looking/tasting versions of General Mill's well-known Fiber One products are called "Fiber Now" (because of course, NOW spelled backwards is WON, as in, we won the game. I rest my case.)
What you need to know: Both types of bars are delicious, as well as the most incredibly violently farty snack you will ever eat in your entire life. Either one will produce approximately 80 farts PER BAR, so fart for fart, ALDI is still the better value. Try to eat just one of the Oats and Chocolate bars of either brand. You'll probably think, "they're small, and they're really good - so what harm could two bars do?" Trust me, you will regret it for the next several hours. Those Olestra Pringles? That's greasy kid stuff, so to speak, compared to these puppies. At our house, they are known simply as Fart Bars.
In researching this topic a while back, I was pleased to discover the side-splitting post "Fiber One Bars Make Me Fart," on the perfectly-named blog Please God No," addressing this issue in more detail than you would think possible. Read and prepare to laugh unless you don't appreciate fart humor, in which case you probably aren't even reading this sentence. Also, prepare to gross out because some people have actually gone to the effort of sending in, um, audio evidence. I thought that would be funny to listen to, but then afterward, not so much - and unfortunately there are some things you cannot un-hear.
Bottom line, if you will: Do not try these for the first time unless you're home alone or outdoors. Resist the urge to buy the handy 2-pack on sale at Walgreens for your midmorning snack at work or a quick lunch. You will be a hovercraft above your work chair. You will need to leave work for the day.
UPDATE! Amazingly, Please God No has also posted about the similar lethal effects of Kashi's Go Lean Cereal, with even more hilariously graphic (and relieved) descriptions from commenters who thought they were the only ones with the problem. And once again, ALDI's "Get Balance" offers double the fart value for your shopping dollar.
6 comments:
I'm in love with the peanut butter version, and haven't noticed farts. However, eat more than one and they make for the kind of poops you feel like you need to photograph. We're talking 1.5 feet, easy.
I just noticed this. WEll described! After eating the Fiber One bars, and
other brands, I've tried the Aldi versions! LOL Massive farts.
Oh yes, this stuff makes enough Methane to end the Energy Crunch! Better not light a match after eating a couple of these bars.
Truly epic farts. I've not had one in at least a year. :)
just amazing. Never ate anything like them, with the possible exception of Kashi Go Lean Cereal (or the Aldi equivalent thereof). I think the blog titled "Please God No" says it all.
What is an aldi substitute for the fibre One?
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